Newsflash-- A Massachusetts school may lower their testing standards to enroll more homosexuals in the school and achieve greater diversity.
A new study by the government found that stupid people don't do as well on intelligence tests as their smarter brothers.
"Scores generally fell remarkably along the lines of the person's previously measured level of intelligence", said the study's director, "We feel there is an obvious bias in the testing procedures that is discriminatory to the less educated and the dumb.".
The scope of the study included recommendations for applying corrective measures to make the tests more fair. Several panel members suggested that a truly non-discriminatory test for high school level students must be at a level where large colored blocks of different shapes are matched by color or placed in the same shaped hole. This hands-on method of intelligence testing generally brought more comparable results.
The National Association of the Dumb heralded the results, and released the prepared statement: "We knew them tests weren't no good. Jus cuz we can't spell and think, don't mean we don't make no good brain surgeons "
Colleges and universities said they would alter their tests to reflect the study's findings and would try to enroll more underachievers in their schools.